[PretzelPark] Pretzel Park Farmers Market Newsletter 3/18/2022

[david.bass at friendsofpretzelpark.org]

_As you probably saw on CNN, there were protests last week in Florida
and Texas against the Friends of Pretzel Park Farmers Market Newsletter
(FOPP FMN) emails. The protesters, who've adopted brown clothing as
their uniform for some reason, claim the newsletter doesn't reflect core
American values or indeed the core values of Manayunk. And as the
newsletter is an email with no physical presence, like a book, the
protesters instead weirdly burnt their own computers and laptops. So
we've sacked the FOPP FMN editor and drafted someone vetted by the
Senate Committee on Local Farmers Market Newsletters. We think you'll
notice the difference, particularly the wholesome cartoons replacing the
deranged cartoons preferred by the former editor. Thank you._ 

FARMERS MARKET NEWS: 

There's no market this week. 

As the pandemic seems to have lifted a bit we're making plans for music
at the Farmers Market. 

PRETZEL PARK NEWS: 

We're also planning to resume free concerts and performances at the
Park. 

BECAUSE WE'RE SO DARNED FARMERLY, HERE'S SOME FOLK WISDOM: 

_Better an earth-lined cave from which the stars are visible than a
golden pagoda roofed with iniquity._ 

From: _If You Have Two Loaves _by Guy Zona 

And of course since we're farmerly and associated with husbandry, here's
a lovely relationship sonnet: 

NEVER/HOWEVER  

_I said I'd never let you down_ 

_And always take your side._ 

_However, that was when I thought_ 

_I'd be your future bride._ 

_ _ 

_I said I'd never lie to you_ 

_About the things that mattered._ 

_However, that was before you broke my heart_ 

_And my five year plan was shattered._ 

_ _ 

_I never wanted to hurt you, babe_ 

_Or damage your self-esteem._ 

_However, our love was a fantasy_ 

_So I deleted your fantasy football team._ 

_ _ 

_I never could fathom cheating on you_ 

_Never, not in a million years._ 

_However, you cheated on me first_ 

_And I'm taking your brother out for beers._ 

From: _I HOPE YOU CHOKE:_ Angry Sonnets by Isobel Irons
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